"Tantra is not technique but prayer. Is not head oriented but a relaxation into the heart. It is a scientific approach! It is alchemy! It can transform your center's, it can transform the other's center's. It can create a rhythm and harmony between you and your beloved. That is the beauty of tantra. It is like bringing electricity into your house" Osho

“The beauty and wisdom of Tantra is that it enhances sexuality as a doorway to the “ecstatic mind of great bliss”. Truly, at the peak of orgasm, we pierce through the illusion of fragmentation and separation, and glimpse the unity and interconnectedness of all beings. And through the other–our partner–we fall in love with life.”         Margot Anand

© 2016 by Kashaya

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Koh Phangan Thailand

Tantric initiation for Women

Initiation for woman is an individually tailored package focusing on what is needed to support genuine change in your life. Its an introduction and opportunity for you to take control of your life with deeper understanding of how to navigate through the challenges that you face within your being, on all levels. It doesn’t get more comprehensive than this. In order to address one issue such as shut down sexual energy, we need to explore all the bodies (physical/emotional/mental/spiritual) as they are all interconnected. We address this through the context of Tantra (traditional and neo) and Taoism along with a wealth of other modalities that may be needed to create the shifts.

 

I am in my forties and can reflect back on the changes that have come my way from around 36, where  my life starting hitting major obstacles that very much felt beyond my control. Having studied Astrology, Tantra and Taoism, I was able to navigate these times with deeper understanding of the inevitable midlife transits that take us into crisis as a means of really pulling us into our power as women and liberating us from wherever it is that we are repressed, fearful and not living our truth.

For all woman around this age, these transit are the onset of physiological changes that affect our hormonal regularities and our bodies start experiencing radical changes from mood alterations to weight gain, exhaustion or extreme restlessness and agitation. When we enter our midlife realm, anywhere from 36-50’s having a strong understand of where we are heading, who we are, and how we can support all of our bodies( physical/emotional/spiritual/mental) is essential. Maintaining daily practices ensure that we not only brush our teeth every day, but that we explore meditation, yoga, dance, healthy eating and some kind of exercise even if its daily 5 minutes of Tabatha to ensure that our lymphatic system is in motion and flow.

All of these bodies (physical/emotional/spiritual/mental) are interconnected and when any of the physiological systems stop functioning at their optimum, its harder and takes longer time than when we were in our 20’s to bring back into stasis.

We are all born with an abundance of energy which in Taoism is called Ching/ Principle energy which exists in the pelvic region and is an energy produced by the sexual organs in men and woman. In woman this is the creative energy necessary to make the eggs, create the uterine lining, hormones and keeping a woman’s sexuality alive and strong. This Ching energy converts into life force energy for the organs which is energy called Chi or prana. Conserving or restoring this energy promotes a longer and healthier life.

Sexual energy(Creative energy) is the only energy that can be doubled and increased by so much more, which means that if you want to restore lost Ching, the sexual energy provides the means to create that extra power if we transform it back into Ching which we can then transform into Chi.

When we are young and healthy, and abundant in Ching, we take that for granted and through the process of living under constant stress, pressure of hastiness, fear, worry anger and other negative emotions along with the unhealthy foods, drink and drugs that we consume, we gradually eat up our life force energy. This accompanied by emotional disturbances, and over stimulated sexual activity, means that the principal energy begins to transform into negative energy which drains the life force from us and robs us of our sexual energy.

To much negative emotional energy leaves us with less life force energy to work with and therefore less energy to build hormones and replace the lost sexual energy. There will not be enough energy left with which to build and feed the spirit and soul.

 

Themes of exploration during the initiation.

Physical Body-

-Exploring the state of your life force energy

-Ovarian breathing which compresses  more life force energy ( chi) into the ovaries for more sexual power.

- Orgasmic upward draw which can be practiced either solo or with a partner, teaching the difference between a genital orgasm vs a full body orgasm and how the first depletes life force energy and the other regenerates and builds.

-Working with yoni egg to strengthen the urogenital and pelvic diaphragms, the glands and tendons and nervous system.

-Body work to dissolve and transmute energetic blockages

-Through the work of Tantra we explore sexual blockages, trauma and abuse that may have happened as a means of healing and transmuting the negative energy that lies in the body stagnating sexual energy flow or shutdown.

-Yoni and body de armouring

Emotional Body-

-Transforming negative emotional energy into life force energy

- Understanding how the emotions are stored in the organs

-Learning to meet the emotions with the understanding that as much as light is a part of life, so to is the shadow.

-Deeply holding space for unexpressed emotions wanting to be released.

Mental Body-

-The exploration of the unconscious mind and the shadow realm that exists within you. How to learn to open to it, receive it and understand the unconscious triggers that create ongoing repetitive patterns in your life.

- Understanding the nature of your mind

- Meditation practices to strengthen your mind so that accessing your spiritual body becomes easier.

Spiritual Body-

-Connecting with your inner cosmos along with practices to build and strengthen this.

- Metabation – a weekly practices teaching us how to build and connect with the sexual energy and transform it into spiritual energy- This is masturbation in meditation.

-Microcosmic Orbit- Learning the art of circulating life force energy through all the energy centers and meridians that exist in and feed your body, both physical and spiritual. This is an essential practice to master when working sexually with a partner.

 

The Healing Benefits of Yoni Massage.

                            In Tantra we call the vagina, “yoni.”                                                                                                                                         

This is a Sanskrit term which when translated reveals a whole new perspective of the vagina. A meaning that holds love & honour.  She is called “sacred space” or “sacred temple”.

I feel this Sanskrit translation is a beautiful reflection of how the yoni is seen, touched & respected in tantric massage.

This way of “being” in relationship to the yoni, is I feel not only important for men to integrate into their understanding & sexual journey of the female genitals but women also. 

Too often in Western society, the yoni is seen as a separate, private part to our whole body & life. We call her “down there” or our “private part”.  We feel her function in life is only for sexual pleasure, sexual relationships or for the birthing of a child.

I am so often asked why tantric massage includes the yoni & lingam … & my answer is why not? 

Our genitals are not private parts of our body, nor are they separate parts to who we are, to only be invited to “come out to play” for special occasions.  Without the acceptance of the yoni, the lingam & our sexual essence we cannot fully embody our soul & our passions into our daily lives. They are sacred parts of the body of which when seen & touched from a space of love are no different to any other part of your body that you allow touch, pleasure & healing.

Your yoni has a “voice!”  She has secrets to tell, ancient feminine wisdom to share, guidance to your fulfilment to offer, emotions & pain to release. 

Pleasure & healing come hand in hand, as our bodies relax & release withheld trauma & tension.  Your shoulders, your neck, your jaw line holds the stresses & traumas of life … your yoni is no different.

In fact she is so sensitive, that she is more susceptible to store unhealed emotions of the past & present.  It is not unusual when using sacred touch on a yoni for a woman to feel overwhelmed with different emotions ranging from anger, isolation, rejection, shame to ecstatic pleasure.  I am here to guide & support a woman through the expression of all of them … to unleash whatever may arise to be seen & accepted with unconditional love.

A Tantric massage has no goals; it is a very present experience of the senses that unfolds. Therefore orgasm & climax are not an aim.  It may happen, it may not … that is neither here nor there or my intention as a tantric therapist.

Yoni massage is not a form of masturbation. It is not about “getting a woman off” nor is its intention sexual.  It is a very conscious & present form of healing & loving touch.

To be totally present for another allows the body & yoni to melt & let go. If orgasm or climax does occur it is a healing experience rather than sexual &  not something we have tasted before … The orgasms are deeply nourishing & satisfying for the body & yoni, the body moves into a state of bliss & wholeness for it has been recognised as a “whole” often for the first time.  It is an expansive feeling of mind, body & soul bringing a sense of unity with our woman~ness.

 This is of great personal importance to bring a woman in tune with her own womanhood, to open the doorways that reveal a strong, open, sexually empowered, sensual woman ~ not simply for the man in her life, but firstly for herself, her daughters, her sisters … 

I am sure the list of the benefits of a yoni massage has not reached its limit as tantra brings something new & fresh to each unique individual I have had the honour of working with. But to bring light upon this ancient practice that can be seen with such a limited view, I have provided you with a few healing experiences that conscious sacred touch of the yoni may bless our lives with …

 

A yoni massage ~ 

Supports a woman in witnessing & accepting emotional pain be that from sexual trauma, abuse, difficult sexual relationships or trauma experienced in childbirth.

It supports the healing process of ~

Painful menstruation,

Irregular menstruation,

Infertility,

Low sex drive,

Pain in sexual intercourse.

The inability to feel safe in one’s own skin

Fear of intimacy

Fear of touch

Lack of trust in relationships,

Lack of respect for one’s own sexuality, reducing promiscuity.

It invites into a relationship with another~

An ability to trust

A willingness to be vulnerable,

An ability to surrender,

A connection of rich depth, unity & intimacy

Nourishing & satisfying sex for the mind, body & soul.

It allows a wide range of orgasms & climax experiences never tasted before, for the woman to immerse herself into for personal exploration of her body & femininity ~ revealing, deepening & expanding her sensuality & sexuality.